3 Ways To Interpret Love In Your Twenties
I think it’s safe to say your twenties is the prime time to date and fall in love. There’s nothing more exciting yet scary than learning about someone and sharing experiences with them while inevitably letting your guard down and letting yourself fall. While it’s easy to get over excited or over discouraged, I’ve come up with a way to think through these experiences. I’ve found it to be important to remind myself what my goals are and what will make me happy in the end, and I’d like to encourage others in their twenties to do the same.
| The Past |
This is where it’s easy – almost second nature – to get stuck in the negatives. To reflect on every failed relationship and why it failed is often the first thought that comes to mind when thinking of the past. Was it you? Was it them? Was it a combination of the two? Where did things go wrong? Is there a pattern of the same issues occurring in every relationship you are in? Are you constantly faced with new issues? What I’ve found is that it’s a complete waste of time to go over everything the other person did wrong or how they hurt you. They are no longer in your life. If the relationship is truly over, it’s time to work on you. I like to ask myself many things, a couple being:
-What could I have done better?
-What did I do right?
-How did I hurt the other person, and how can I avoid that in the future?
-What did they teach me about relationships that I didn’t know before?
-What kind of person do I want in the future now that I’ve learned more about what I like/don’t like?
Granted, let me just say I know it takes some time to get out of the emotional state of mind to be able to clearly think through some of these things. In those early weeks/months of going through a break up, I don’t see why anyone should not be allowed to be a little off their rocker. More wine than normal is completely acceptable. But ONCE you get through that initial stage of hurt feelings, reflecting on yourself is a great first step to moving on.
| Present |
This section is not only about relationships. The present should include focusing on what makes you happy. Many things have happened around me this year that have caused me to see things in a different perspective. Life is short. How you react to what is thrown your way is all up to you. Attitude is everything. Love conquers all. Be grateful for everything.
I think your twenties should be ALL about living life to the fullest. This is the time to be selfish and try new things. Put yourself out there and make mistakes. Date multiple types of people. Try new jobs. Travel. Live. The great thing about being in your twenties is you are expected to mess up. There really isn’t that much pressure if you see it as a time period in your life. What comes after this age entails more responsibility and more pressure to do the right thing. The older we get, the more we are expected to know what we’re doing and to set a positive example. I think its majorly important to take advantage of the time I have now to do what I can and learn as much as I can.
When I hit a low point in my life early this year, I started thinking about what I needed to turn things around. I was exhausted, angry and lost because I had tried and I had failed. I realized I needed to do something to change the way things were going and didn’t want to waste any time.
First I faced my fears by reflecting on all the hurt I had been holding inside for too long. I acknowledged my weaknesses and searched for ways to improve. Suddenly, my anxiety attacks went away. I started reading books on topics such as business and relationships-the two things I like to learn the most about. I shared with friends. I tried different work out classes and started going to the gym or parks with different friends. I physically felt better and more functional and alive. I started singing and playing piano again. My passion was fulfilled. I went out and met new people. I did what I love most-made new friends. It took me almost six months to realize I needed to take control of my life, but once I did – I felt better than ever. What I learned is people have it way worse than I do, and I am not a perfect person. What I can do now is work on my weaknesses every day, do the things I love and hopefully encourage others, including my friends, to join me.
And what’s crazy is that was just one year of my life that I turned around and gave myself a little reality check. I still have the rest of my twenties to figure out what comes next!
| Future |
What now? What comes next? I think keeping a positive mind set and being open to new experiences and people creates a great base for a happy future. I’ve noticed that whenever I focus more on what’s most important to me, everything falls into place the way it should. When I start wasting time thinking about or doing things that aren’t bringing positive results to my life, things don’t seem to go my way.
I’ve noticed sometimes people have an idea in their head of where they should be in life at certain stages. They need to get married by this age, have kids by this age, or make this much by this year. I’m definitely not saying it’s a bad thing to have a plan. I set goals and put together a plan for my 5/10 year mark. But it can get complicated if you worry too much about the plan playing out EXACTLY how you wrote it. That’s just not how life works. Truly accepting that you can’t control everything will bring peace to your body, mind and soul.
The biggest takeaway here is your twenties should be for learning, growing, changing and living. The relationships and experiences along the way are meant to encourage growth within yourself. Some will last, some won’t. Focus on you and what brings happiness into your life and everything will be fine.
The opinion of a 22-year old on the reality of being 22.
I don’t know about you, but I’m about to be twenty-two. On January 21. 2000. 14.
Oh Taylor Swift.. all I have to say is this: if the next year of my life does not go the way your song describes the lovely age of 22, I will be severely emotionally damaged forever.
But really: this next year will be fun for me since I love and almost need some type or form of constant change. I am also scared because this is a very big change in my life. I will be searching for a real job, hopefully finding a job I like, then searching for a home for me and my demon animal Zoey (hey-don’t judge; that’s a whole other blog post in itself). Back to the point: moving cities, changing jobs, no longer depending on my parents to cover my ass on bills, and becoming a real life adult is all on the itinerary in the next 6-8 months (this timeline depends on which parent of mine you’re talking to).
From here on out my goal is to take complete and full advantage of going to class, actually reading the text book that was manufactured for my generation & basically looks like a magazine, and enjoying my free time doing whatever it is that I want to do.
This birthday to me is bittersweet.. during the first half of my 22nd year of life, I will still be enjoying the sweet college life; but the second half will be growing up and becoming a responsible young adult. This is almost as dramatic as middle school for me where I’m losing my childhood innocence and blossoming into a young ‘adult’, but without the pimples and awkward braces. I am feeling a mix of emotions. And by experience, the best thing to do when I’m not really sure what I should do?
What A Girls Wants
Note: I wrote this post in April 2013 on Tumblr.
I’ve been wanting to start a blog for a while now and haven’t given myself the time to do so. I also wanted to take time and think about what I would want my blog to be about.
I want this blog to be a place where I can give my opinion on issues young women like myself face every day. I enjoy talking about social media, boys, careers, money, the PR world, fashion and food. I also will probably mention my minor obsession with famous singer/songwriter Christina Aguilera and similar famous yet powerful women.
Since this is my first post, I will go ahead and get my first elaboration of Aguilera out of the way. So here it goes:
Every girl thinks she knows what she wants: a loyal boyfriend, an abundant social life, a solid financial backing for her excessive shopping or drinking problem (I only fall under one of those categories..), a job which will (hopefully) support these habits, and to forever feel & look twenty-something. But what many girls don’t realize, or admit to themselves, is that they are confused. Is that really what a girl wants to make herself happy?
Let’s get down to it: the only person who can make yourself happy is YOU. Young women get stuck on other people
(boys) in their lives that constantly don’t make them happy. If you get your head in the right place and focus on what truly matters, you won’t get stuck in that dark hole full of questions that start with why.
Step one (the what): find what you would enjoy doing every day. Christina Aguilera has defined the motto of true “woman-ism” through each transformation she’s made. Since the beginning, she has dedicated her life to the one thing she wanted: a professional singing career. What if you don’t know what career you want? Try everything. It’s never too late to start exploring your interests and finding what makes you tick.
Step two (the who): ignore the ones who bring you down, and overly acknowledge those who lift you up. In our age of being active on ten plus social media sites, phone books with over 500 contacts, and interpersonal communication occurring over invisible wavelengths more than ever before, it is important to remember and focus on who is truly important. Never forget who is really important in your life, because if they really are important, they are someone you will want to remember forever (or a long time..etc.)
Step three (the why): during the process of passing all our classes, supporting ourselves, and getting our future lined up, we seem to get lost in the middle. It’s like a box. We want to make sure everything in the box is perfect, ready to be shipped into our next stage of life and ready to face whatever will come our way. We review each item in the box over and over again to make sure it’s perfect (school, work, boys or boyfriends, best friends, pets, etc.) But what are we even doing this for? Why do we experience certain things in life? It’s simple. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you must give up and be willing to accept the answer (I don’t know) instead of dwelling on always finding the answer. Your box will always be full of things you have perfected over time, but what you will find outside of that box can be very gratifying and exhilarating.
Keep being the super strong female we were all made to be, and by strong I mean confident, witty and smart. All a girl really wants to be is happy, and the art of being happy simply starts with you.